Truckin' Along

We had the big ultrasound on 12/16, and everything looked great, except that they saw two cysts on the baby's brain. The screen came back fantastic. There were no other markers. The doctor said they usually just ignore a cyst if no other signs are found. And then by the end of the appointment, she said she had almost convinced herself that it was normal vascular activity. At any rate, we decided to not worry about it. We definitely weren't concerned enough for an amnio.
The baby is measuring a little ahead, and was moving around, and even yawned. It was awesome to the see it in there.
And, we found out it is another boy! We are very excited. I can just picture my two sons, on a Saturday morning hair sticking up running around in their pajamas.

Christmas was wonderful. S really understood that Santa was coming, and although he was quite grouchy in the morning, after an early LONG nap, he was much better, and he had big fun playing with all of his new toys. Granny and Papa came to visit the next day, and brought him MORE toys, it was so much fun to watch. It is very nice, too, because his other toys were getting pretty old and boring to him. Now we have an entire arsenal of entertainment!

I ended up going to the doctor Christmas eve, as I've been sick off an on since Thanksgiving. I got some antibiotics, but I'm not sure they are helping. I just feel so TIRED all of the time! I know I'm pregnant, but I wish I could just WAKE UP!!

Granny is supposed to take Sam tomorrow through Sunday, provided he doesn't get sick, which means I'll have some time to sleep, which is wonderful! Also, we are going to see Widespread Panic on New Year's Eve! My first Panic show since the July before Sam was born, at Red Rocks. This will be great because I'll have a seat, and it is a huge venue, so smoke shouldn't be too much of an issue. I'm very excited! I don't get to go out much at night, so this is really a special treat for me!

Oh and I'm 19 weeks?! How did that happen?

Someone was saying how scared they would be with no time to sleep, less time for sex, and no time for each other, about how their relationship would fare after having children. I’ll be honest; there is nothing that will test your relationship like having a child. But there is nothing that will strengthen it, deepen it or define it as much, either. We were married for 17 years before we had a child. I have learned more about my husband in the past 15 months than I did in all of our marriage before. Don’t get me wrong, I knew all of his stories, his sense of humor, that he was in an eighties hair band (when he was in high school) called, wait for it, “Hard Knox”, but I really didn’t know how he’d be in battle. And I have more respect, love and all out admiration for him than I ever did before.

Yes, there are times that I want to scream “I’m doing everything!” , and at times, I do. But the first time I came home to find him curled up with our son in our bed because our son was crying in the crib, I fell deeper in love than I could have imagined. Sometimes it feels just like those moments on The Amazing Race, the couples scurrying around, shouting blunt answers to each other. But the cool thing is that our relationship is so strong now (even stronger than it was, and that is saying A LOT), that we are able to forgive those things said under extreme duress.

I’m not saying everyone should have a child. It isn’t for everyone, and we didn’t think it was for us for a long, long time. I’m not saying it is easy, because it definitely isn’t. But it is an event that gave me a wildly different perception of life. It altered my priorities in a huge way. I’ve become a better person. I've become a better wife. We've become a better couple. I'm grateful for that. Because that little ninnymuggins deserves the best.

I'm giddy

I feel such a surge of pride to be in my country. I haven’t felt that in a while. And it feels good. Being here in the heart of conservative country, I can’t discuss it with anyone. I have to hide my joy. But even so, I’m very joyful. Just the thought that so many people in our country looked at the issues at hand, not at the color of his skin.
After seeing so many elderly African Americans at the polls, who made a great effort to get there, I realized just how much I take for granted every day. Yes, here in Hooterville, I am the victim of some forms of prejudice because I’m a woman, but they are nothing compared to what most of these people have faced in their lives, especially living here. And it is still rampant; the first thing my husband’s boss did yesterday morning upon coming in to work was to raise his hands in the air and declare “White Power!” – yeah, good stuff. Until you live in the heart of all that the sterotypes are made of, you don’t realize how little really has changed in all this time. This evidence that, for most of the country, this is a thing of the past, has given many people a tiny glimpse of hope. And what could be bad about that?

I look forward to the day that I can try to explain to my son what this election meant to so many people. I ordered a yard sign today (half price!), just to pack away and show him someday. It will probably take him a while to appreciate it, but I know that someday he will.

Not to mention that I fully believe this man can do it, and has the sense to surround himself with others that can do it, that WANT to do it. I’m excited to see what will unfold.

Yippee!!

A year ago today

A year ago was my last day at my old job in Denver. The movers were packing up our house. They came the next day and finished up, we must’ve run some errands, tried to clean somewhat, and then went to the hotel. The next morning we had to get up really early so M could take S and me to the airport. I remember that it was snowing, and we laughed about it, about how glad we were to leave the snow behind.

I remember that S was so small, but he seemed so big then! I remember having him in the over the shoulder baby holder sling. He was very, very good the whole time. Until the flight attendant on the plane to Chattanooga made me take him out of it during take off. He wasn’t happy about that. But then I put him back in once we got up in the air, and he was very happy. I think I fed him a bottle. And I remember the person next to me marveling at how I put the bottle together and mixed the formula with one hand. I hadn’t really thought about it, and then I thought “Yeah, that is pretty wild, I’ve really adapted to this!”

Mostly I remember how nice people were. The young college age guy offering his spot in line so that I could get through easier, saying “You’ve got your hands a lot more full than mine!”, the TSA guy that helped me with the stroller and diaper bag, by getting it all together for me and carrying it to a table from the conveyor belt. The nice older ladies that offered to help me while I was packing everything up. The wonderful men that helped me with the stroller pickup at the gates when we arrived. The man that carried my stroller for me up two flights of stairs at the Chattanooga airport. I was touched by these actions, and I hope I have the chance to show someone else the same kindness. I hope if I’m on a plane with a fussy baby, I have the ability and opportunity to help. To take the stress off of someone when they really need it, rather than roll my eyes and add to it. Each one of these people could’ve turned their noses up and gone about their day, but they really made an effort. And that touched me in a way nothing has in a long time. It is nice to remember.

In an effort to keep this nice feeling going, I'm going to try to list at least one nice thing someone has done for me this week. I focus all too easily on the negative. I'm going to make myself focus on the positive, for five minutes a week, at least. Then I can go back to bitching and moaning.