Back In Action!!

It is newly 2014, and I finally decided to look up my dear old blog and see if it was still active. I love looking at those old posts, so glad that I have them. I now have a six year old and a three and a half year old, live in Florida, and we are down to just one dog. We live near the beach, we love the climate here. We've been here 2 yrs, 4 mos, I believe. We are looking to move to a different house, because we are bursting at the seams in the one we're in now. We found one yesterday, and I thought we were definitely moving there, but M is having some second thoughts. This is extremely frustrating to me, but there is really nothing I can do about it, is there? We are struggling with the fact that rent is much more expensive than farther inland, but we love living in this community so much, and it is a hard trade off. To pay the same rent inland, we could have a huge house where we would have no problem with space constraints. We could have the fancy bathrooms, nice kitchen, and community pool. But, with all of those advantages, I still have trouble committing to living inland and not being a part of this little beach community. I'm sure there are incredibly nice folks inland as well, but they are sure as heck a lot hotter in the summer! And probably less tan! The most important things always come to the forefront, huh?

So, Yeah, This Sucks

Since January, my horse has been fighting an eye affliction known as uveitis. It responded well to the first round of meds, but then immediately flared up again after stopping them. I switched vets, thinking that the other one was young and going to a more experienced vet might be better. He prescribed several things, none of them made any difference, and the eye continued to deteriorate. After trying two different meds with him, I asked for a referral to the University of Georgia large animal clinic, as they have opthamology services. They couldn't see us for a week, and Wednesday we took him up there.

I knew that his left eye was pretty much a loss, but now his right eye is starting with the same symptoms. I was told that eventually, they may have to remove both eyes, and probably the left eye at the very least. This is definitely troubling, as I keep thinking that if I had just acted sooner, we could have saved it. But I didn't know. I thought that having him under a vet's care would prevent it. I was wrong. I feel as if I have let him down, this sweet horse who has given me so much. And of course, my money is very limited, so now I have to add the worry of paying the 2500 vet bill (this does not include removal of the eye, which will be another 1200 - 1400) to the rest of the stress.

This is terrible. But it could be worse. I can't imagine being one of the millions of people out there that are having to make choices about themselves, about their spouses, even their children, because they simply can't afford it. That would break me. And although I feel somewhat broken around the edges, when I am able to see that my little boy is healthy, feel my baby squirm around and kick me, I know that things could be much, much worse.

I hate worrying about money, I hate worrying about paying for his care, and I'm still not sure how I'll be able to do it. I just keep thinking that we'll figure it out somehow. I hope we do.

Still here

I hate that I almost never write now. But I'm 27 weeks pregnant with a 2 and a half year old, and I'm tired. Very tired. I have a new project at work that I really have very little idea of how to do, and of course it is on a very tight deadline. My horse is sick with an eye affliction that has continued for two months and we really don't know if it will ever get better. Waaah, waaah, waaah.

Things are not really bad, just hectic. And M has been sick with something that makes him have horrible spasmodic coughing spells throughout the night, so neither of us is sleeping. Sleep is such a wonderful thing.

S is doing great, I think we are getting close to another sickness, but is has been at least a month, so we really can't complain too much. He moved to another class at school for older kids, and he had a teacher that wasn't so nice. We researched other options, and were ready to make the move. Last week, we discovered that said teacher was no longer employed there! And the other teachers are great, so we were very relieved. We probably should have talked to the school about it, but we didn't want it to get back to the teacher and then S would have a target on his back. So, that worked out very nicely.

We were really having some power struggles with S for a while, which usually ended with me yelling at him until he had a full on tantrum, and neither one of us was happy when it was over. Somehow, I got my patience back and starting using one of his favorite things, Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, as a bargaining tool, "If we don't get dressed now, we won't have time for Mickey Mouse", etc. It works so amazingly well. It takes him a few minutes to process it, but there is no more yelling and fighting to get him dressed, or to the table to eat, etc. It is truly a miracle. We have noticed a huge difference in his behavior since the Bad Teacher has been gone as well. She yelled, and I mean really yelled, at the kids all of the time. It was pretty awful. There was no escalation, just immediately yelling. I'm so glad she is gone, and so is S, apparently! And drop offs are FINALLY getting better. This morning he opened the door for me so I could leave. He was all smiles and laughs as I left. It was INCREDIBLE. He has been at that school almost 9 months, and this has been the first week that drop off hasn't been an issue. Yea!

I am pregnant, almost 28 weeks, and I'm beginning to feel exhausted again. I'm trying to remember to eat often, and eat good things, not a candy bar that will just boost me up and then send me crashing. But those darned Cadbury eggs are quite tempting, now and then.

S continues to amaze us, picking new words every day, and getting clearer and clearer on the ones he already knows. One of my favorite things is when I'll ask him if he is doing something, he'll reply, "Yes, I am!". He'll actually kiss me now, and I can't get enough of them. He likes to pat my belly and talk to the baby, and this morning as I was holding him in my lap, he felt him kick.

Life is certainly barreling along, the weather was wonderful last weekend, in the mid sixties. Not so much for this weekend, low fifties. We have had a very cold winter for Atlanta. I'm over it. I do see jonquils coming up, and the trees are starting to have buds on them. I just wish the temperature would follow!

Truckin' Along

We had the big ultrasound on 12/16, and everything looked great, except that they saw two cysts on the baby's brain. The screen came back fantastic. There were no other markers. The doctor said they usually just ignore a cyst if no other signs are found. And then by the end of the appointment, she said she had almost convinced herself that it was normal vascular activity. At any rate, we decided to not worry about it. We definitely weren't concerned enough for an amnio.
The baby is measuring a little ahead, and was moving around, and even yawned. It was awesome to the see it in there.
And, we found out it is another boy! We are very excited. I can just picture my two sons, on a Saturday morning hair sticking up running around in their pajamas.

Christmas was wonderful. S really understood that Santa was coming, and although he was quite grouchy in the morning, after an early LONG nap, he was much better, and he had big fun playing with all of his new toys. Granny and Papa came to visit the next day, and brought him MORE toys, it was so much fun to watch. It is very nice, too, because his other toys were getting pretty old and boring to him. Now we have an entire arsenal of entertainment!

I ended up going to the doctor Christmas eve, as I've been sick off an on since Thanksgiving. I got some antibiotics, but I'm not sure they are helping. I just feel so TIRED all of the time! I know I'm pregnant, but I wish I could just WAKE UP!!

Granny is supposed to take Sam tomorrow through Sunday, provided he doesn't get sick, which means I'll have some time to sleep, which is wonderful! Also, we are going to see Widespread Panic on New Year's Eve! My first Panic show since the July before Sam was born, at Red Rocks. This will be great because I'll have a seat, and it is a huge venue, so smoke shouldn't be too much of an issue. I'm very excited! I don't get to go out much at night, so this is really a special treat for me!

Oh and I'm 19 weeks?! How did that happen?

16 and a half weeks

5 more days until the Big Ultrasound,and quad screen results. Since I've reached 16 and a half weeks, I feel really good, and I'm starting to feel more like I'm really pregnant. I finally broke down and bought maternity pants and shirts, I have a definite bump showing. I'm terrified of something bad on the quad screen/ultrasound, but I want to be excited so badly.

I did get to see the baby this week, as I went in for my 16 week appointment and although we did hear the heartbeat for a few seconds, she couldn't find it again. Does this sound familiar? Luckily, I've rented a Doppler and had just listened earlier, so I wasn't really worried about it. She got the ultrasound machine and I got to have a good look at the kiddo. It is amazing how much is different from the 10 week appointment! I could see a backbone, fingers, toes, arms, legs. He/she was bending their knees and moving their arms and head. It really made me feel more connected. I wish that M could've been there, but I'd told him not to come, as usually it is ten minutes, they measure, listen, and I'm out the door (after paying for that privilege, of course). I have to admit that despite myself, I started to get a bit excited. And then, I told everyone at work-- BEFORE THE test results! What was I thinking? But in a way, if something is horribly wrong, it will be good that everyone knows, so that they'll be nicer to me, or at least understand when I snap their heads off.

In other news, S is so much fun-- he is really talking and singing, knows his upper case letters, and some lower case, is learning the sounds now. He LOVES Christmas lights, and we usually make a quick loop on the way home from school to look at them. Also, for the first time in SIX MONTHS, he is starting to be a lot better about being left at school. He hasn't had to have the teacher pick him up, I'm able to hug him and kiss him, and go. I'm really crossing my fingers that this continues!

Nuchal Fold

We had the nuchal fold translucency test done today, and the results were normal, yeah! It was a little dicey, though. We were making small talk with the ultrasound tech, and I said something about how fast they grow up both inside and outside, and after that she got very quiet. She was doing measurements, but wasn't really saying anything, and boy, we started getting nervous. The doctor came in and told us the results, and we really liked her. This was at the high risk specialist, so she won't actually be delivering or anything, but we will see her again for the big ultrasound at 17 weeks.
After that, the ultrasound tech came back in to take my blood, and she explained that her son had died in Iraq in September, and my comment just made her really sad, which made her quiet. I almost started crying right there. I felt terrible for her. I can't imagine how awful it would be to bury your son. And then I think about how many other mothers did the same thing. It makes me very sad. I do not agree with the war, never have, but I certainly support those families that are affected by it. My heart goes out to them.
Next stop, 5 weeks for the quad screen blood draw, and then the next week will be the Big Ultrasound. Oh, and according to the ultrasound, 11 weeks 3 days along.

Week 9 and holding

So, yeah, week 9 on the pregnant thing. The doctor's appointment went well, but a little fraught with frustration. You see, I couldn't sleep the entire night before due to Bad Ultrasound Dread. But I knew it would be over the next day, at least for the short term.
We got to the doctor's office, had the exam, when the doctor casually mentions that the sonographer has had a death in the family, and the other sonographer can't fit me in, so I'll have to reschedule. Oh man, I held it together pretty well, but I was ready to go totally Bruce Lee and rip out his larynx. But I didn't. We had to wait two more days, but then we got to see the heartbeat, and it measured beautifully. We'll see how the next one goes.
I'm ordering the fetal heart monitor tomorrow.
Gulp.