Friday, March 12, 2010

So, Yeah, This Sucks

Since January, my horse has been fighting an eye affliction known as uveitis. It responded well to the first round of meds, but then immediately flared up again after stopping them. I switched vets, thinking that the other one was young and going to a more experienced vet might be better. He prescribed several things, none of them made any difference, and the eye continued to deteriorate. After trying two different meds with him, I asked for a referral to the University of Georgia large animal clinic, as they have opthamology services. They couldn't see us for a week, and Wednesday we took him up there.

I knew that his left eye was pretty much a loss, but now his right eye is starting with the same symptoms. I was told that eventually, they may have to remove both eyes, and probably the left eye at the very least. This is definitely troubling, as I keep thinking that if I had just acted sooner, we could have saved it. But I didn't know. I thought that having him under a vet's care would prevent it. I was wrong. I feel as if I have let him down, this sweet horse who has given me so much. And of course, my money is very limited, so now I have to add the worry of paying the 2500 vet bill (this does not include removal of the eye, which will be another 1200 - 1400) to the rest of the stress.

This is terrible. But it could be worse. I can't imagine being one of the millions of people out there that are having to make choices about themselves, about their spouses, even their children, because they simply can't afford it. That would break me. And although I feel somewhat broken around the edges, when I am able to see that my little boy is healthy, feel my baby squirm around and kick me, I know that things could be much, much worse.

I hate worrying about money, I hate worrying about paying for his care, and I'm still not sure how I'll be able to do it. I just keep thinking that we'll figure it out somehow. I hope we do.

Friday, February 26, 2010

Still here

I hate that I almost never write now. But I'm 27 weeks pregnant with a 2 and a half year old, and I'm tired. Very tired. I have a new project at work that I really have very little idea of how to do, and of course it is on a very tight deadline. My horse is sick with an eye affliction that has continued for two months and we really don't know if it will ever get better. Waaah, waaah, waaah.

Things are not really bad, just hectic. And M has been sick with something that makes him have horrible spasmodic coughing spells throughout the night, so neither of us is sleeping. Sleep is such a wonderful thing.

S is doing great, I think we are getting close to another sickness, but is has been at least a month, so we really can't complain too much. He moved to another class at school for older kids, and he had a teacher that wasn't so nice. We researched other options, and were ready to make the move. Last week, we discovered that said teacher was no longer employed there! And the other teachers are great, so we were very relieved. We probably should have talked to the school about it, but we didn't want it to get back to the teacher and then S would have a target on his back. So, that worked out very nicely.

We were really having some power struggles with S for a while, which usually ended with me yelling at him until he had a full on tantrum, and neither one of us was happy when it was over. Somehow, I got my patience back and starting using one of his favorite things, Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, as a bargaining tool, "If we don't get dressed now, we won't have time for Mickey Mouse", etc. It works so amazingly well. It takes him a few minutes to process it, but there is no more yelling and fighting to get him dressed, or to the table to eat, etc. It is truly a miracle. We have noticed a huge difference in his behavior since the Bad Teacher has been gone as well. She yelled, and I mean really yelled, at the kids all of the time. It was pretty awful. There was no escalation, just immediately yelling. I'm so glad she is gone, and so is S, apparently! And drop offs are FINALLY getting better. This morning he opened the door for me so I could leave. He was all smiles and laughs as I left. It was INCREDIBLE. He has been at that school almost 9 months, and this has been the first week that drop off hasn't been an issue. Yea!

I am pregnant, almost 28 weeks, and I'm beginning to feel exhausted again. I'm trying to remember to eat often, and eat good things, not a candy bar that will just boost me up and then send me crashing. But those darned Cadbury eggs are quite tempting, now and then.

S continues to amaze us, picking new words every day, and getting clearer and clearer on the ones he already knows. One of my favorite things is when I'll ask him if he is doing something, he'll reply, "Yes, I am!". He'll actually kiss me now, and I can't get enough of them. He likes to pat my belly and talk to the baby, and this morning as I was holding him in my lap, he felt him kick.

Life is certainly barreling along, the weather was wonderful last weekend, in the mid sixties. Not so much for this weekend, low fifties. We have had a very cold winter for Atlanta. I'm over it. I do see jonquils coming up, and the trees are starting to have buds on them. I just wish the temperature would follow!