Friday, March 12, 2010

So, Yeah, This Sucks

Since January, my horse has been fighting an eye affliction known as uveitis. It responded well to the first round of meds, but then immediately flared up again after stopping them. I switched vets, thinking that the other one was young and going to a more experienced vet might be better. He prescribed several things, none of them made any difference, and the eye continued to deteriorate. After trying two different meds with him, I asked for a referral to the University of Georgia large animal clinic, as they have opthamology services. They couldn't see us for a week, and Wednesday we took him up there.

I knew that his left eye was pretty much a loss, but now his right eye is starting with the same symptoms. I was told that eventually, they may have to remove both eyes, and probably the left eye at the very least. This is definitely troubling, as I keep thinking that if I had just acted sooner, we could have saved it. But I didn't know. I thought that having him under a vet's care would prevent it. I was wrong. I feel as if I have let him down, this sweet horse who has given me so much. And of course, my money is very limited, so now I have to add the worry of paying the 2500 vet bill (this does not include removal of the eye, which will be another 1200 - 1400) to the rest of the stress.

This is terrible. But it could be worse. I can't imagine being one of the millions of people out there that are having to make choices about themselves, about their spouses, even their children, because they simply can't afford it. That would break me. And although I feel somewhat broken around the edges, when I am able to see that my little boy is healthy, feel my baby squirm around and kick me, I know that things could be much, much worse.

I hate worrying about money, I hate worrying about paying for his care, and I'm still not sure how I'll be able to do it. I just keep thinking that we'll figure it out somehow. I hope we do.

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