Thursday, May 21, 2009

The cork is about to pop

So, I've given my notice here at work, tomorrow is supposed to be my last day. I'm cleaning out my cube, thanking God that I don't have to work with certain people any more, very sad that I won't be working with others. Then it hits me. I haven't heard anything back from the recruiter about what time I should come in, who I ask for, etc. No big deal, I think, I'll shoot him an email. So I did.

And then, I heard nothing. Absolutely nothing. So I called. He's out this week. I'm starting to sweat a little. I call the manager for whom I'm supposed to be working. He never heard a confirmation on my start date, but says to come on in on Tuesday, and ask for him. I feel a little appeased by this, but I'm getting nervous. You see, they had to do a background check, and let's be honest, my credit is less than perfect. MUCH less. It is getting better, but we had some rough times there for a while. No bankruptcy, but still not great. So, my inner voice is having a heyday. And I'm ready to throw up.

Then day care calls. S is whiny, crying, can't go to sleep. I want to be able to leave, to go get him, but now I worry that I might have to come crawling back into my boss' office and beg for my job back.

I want to cry, I want to curl up and go to sleep until this is over. Why can't anything go smoothly? Arrggghhh. I already deal so poorly with change. This is not making it any easier.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Atlanta, here we come!

So, I got the job, and we found a house that is very close to other family members. Hopefully it won't drive us crazy! The house is awesome, with a huge back yard, and a pool. The rent is 300 dollars cheaper, and the house's layout is a MUCH better fit. Two stories instead of three. A huge backyard for kids and dogs alike. A nice, quiet neighborhood, where our family knows all of the neighbors, and there is not a party house in the bunch! Two car garage, which will be great for the motorcycles. It is kind of far away from where I'll be working, but I'm willing to commute a bit to have a nice living situation.

We are kind of in shock right now. But a good shock! I gave my notice at work, and unfortunately, I know have the worst attitude possible. I have no desire to do or finish ANYTHING! But I will, I will. The bare minimum, that is. Now all we have left is to find a daycare and a stable. I've got three day cares that I want to visit, they all sound pretty promising. After that, the stables.

It is wild to think that we'll be back in Atlanta after all of these years, 13 years I think? But we are very excited to be closer to all that Atlanta has to offer. I'm scared to death, but I feel like it is the right thing to do.

I hope I can breathe again soon!

Thursday, May 07, 2009

The sun had BETTER come out

Lately, I’ve had been feeling completely overwhelmed. I’m so upset by the fact that I have no time to spend with S, that we are both working our tails off so that we can pay someone else to spend time with him. Not that he isn’t benefiting from daycare, because I know that he is. He is very happy there, has his little friends, and that is great. But I hate Mondays, and going back to seeing him for a few hours a day, and starting my countdown until the weekend all over again. I miss him. I hate that I absolutely have to work, that we have to have my income. I hate that summers for him will mean going to another school, not lazing around and going to the pool day after day. I hate it. There is no other option, and he’ll be fine. But I can’t help listening to that little voice in the back of my head that wants things to be different; even if they can’t be.

And I have a freaking bolt in my tire. ~sigh~

I emailed the recruiter in Atlanta, they still haven't made a decision, almost two weeks later?! If we hear nothing by the end of Friday, we are just going to make the decision to stay here. We can't keep living in "Maybe" land.

Monday, May 04, 2009

Rainy Weekend

This weekend was really, really great. S is feeling much better. I think he was teething before, because oh my God he was grouchy last week. It was really awful. We kept wondering if this is what normal kids act like. Whew! But we got through it, didn’t kill each other, and lo and behold, suddenly about Thursday, he was his old self again. Yay!

It rained, rained, rained all weekend. Somehow, I decided to be cheerful and optimistic rather than feeding into my usual rain negativity. It worked beautifully, and the weekend turned out to be really fun. We took S to a Japanese steak house for lunch for the first time. We’ve debated on taking him for quite some time, and finally I just decided for us. We have figured out that if we come up with a contingency plan, we feel a lot more secure about new situations. So, contingency plans were made (I’d take S outside and get mine to go), diaper bags were packed, and away we went. We get inside, and there is a guy with a freaking tile saw running, which made both of us enter Panic Level 1. S was fine, however. Whew! Dodged that one. Then we get to the table, seated, and the fire alarm goes off. With the blinking lights, the screaming sirens, everything. Panic Level 4!! Oh No! S got a little nervous, but handled it well. The rest of the experience was fine. We had to laugh; we were wondering if a man-eating lion was waiting for us in the parking lot. As for the actual meal, S absolutely loved it, loved being able to see so many people, and watching the chef in front of him was very entertaining for him.

We did a lot of playing in the house, it was raining too much to go outside, so we painted a lot, both finger paints and watercolors. S is in his abstract phase, I think. At any rate, we made it through a rain filled weekend with our spirits intact. Thank God we are renting a largish house, with plenty of room to run!

The Atlanta thing—I have heard nothing from the company, I don’t know for sure if that is a bad sign, but I’m leaning that way. The weird thing is, I’m not 100 percent sure I’d take it and move. After all the discussions of moving to a bigger city, now I’m second guessing myself. We started thinking about traffic, and how much time that would take away from our already miniscule time with S. We talked about access to camping, bike trails, hiking trails, which we have a lot of here. We talked about how close we are to Diane. We talked about the fact that yes, my job isn’t the best, but it isn’t the worst either. I work my 40 hours and go home, which is pretty good in this industry. S’s daycare situation absolutely, positively is the most awesome situation, despite the rocky start. So, we may actually be leaning towards staying here, at least for the next few years. The landlords told us that they have no intention of moving back, and are hoping we’ll continue to lease. The house isn’t perfect, it has a zillion stairs, and no yard for the dog, but is also has an awesome screened porch, trees, birds, and a large, if hilly, yard. But it is a nice house. We have lived there almost a year, and we have things somewhat worked out there for living. We’d really rather not pack up everything to move across town, and into a possibly worse situation.
So, to sum it up-- the old S is back, yea! Atlanta is still a maybe, leaning toward no.