Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Learning to bend

I started doing the WW again back on Jan 5, and so far I’ve lost 3.6 pounds! I went to the gym yesterday at lunch. That was the first time I’ve been to the gym since I was pregnant with S. I did actually exercise a little bit when I was first pregnant, but then I got tired and worried that I’d do something bad, so I stopped. It has been at least two years since I’ve been. It felt absolutely wonderful.

I love the elliptical machine, always have, and as I got on and slid my water bottle into its slot, it felt like coming home. It wasn’t nearly as hard as I thought it would be; my legs are sore today, but I wasn’t huffing and puffing as I had imagined. I’m going today to do upper body—yea!

It is a little cumbersome carrying the bag that I have; and I decided that if I keep going for two weeks, I’ll buy myself a nice backpack to use.

The last time I lost so much weight and got into great shape was doing the Body For Life program. It worked, and worked well, but it isn’t something that I can continuously do. I’m not going to get up at 5am to work out every day. And what I’m realizing is that I don’t have to. I can go during lunch, or after Sam’s asleep, but I need to cut myself some slack and realize that everything about it doesn’t have to be perfect. Just because the guy says that you need to work out First Thing In The Morning, it doesn’t mean that if I work out during the afternoon that I’m a failure. If I get there, it’s all good! I still get a gold star! And the diet was pretty strict. I need to allow for a latte here and there, it keeps me from binging like a wild woman.

I’m realizing that this applies to a lot of my life. It seems that I set these rigid goals of perfection, and if I can’t reach them, I give myself no credit (and give up). As a new mother, I felt that everything had to be done absolutely by the book, with no variation. I think most new parents are like that. As time goes by, and you don’t break him, you realize that it is okay to trust your instincts. It is okay to slack some.

It has occurred to me that this should apply to life in general, and as I’m beginning to allow myself to slack a bit here and there, I ‘m more fun to be around. I don’t want to become my uptight aunt, screaming at her ten year old son not to get his white Easter pants dirty. I want to be the one who is helping him search for eggs, and if we don’t find any, show him that we’ll still have fun, by rolling around on the ground wrestling. As clichéd as it is, I need to remember that it isn’t the destination, it is the experiences getting there. That sounds almost like a resolution, doesn’t it? Oh yeah, and that losing 35 pounds thing.

Just to keep me honest:
Height 5’3”

1/5/09: 168.8
1/12/2009: 165.2

Loss 3.6 lbs!! Yea!!

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