Thursday, January 08, 2009

My moment of clarity

I went to Starbuck’s this morning, to get a Black Tea Latte. And the cashier had on a billabong hoodie. In one very swift and definite moment, the desire to move back to San Diego was born. This desire has poked up its head many times in the last year, but usually I have been able to brush it away, like a mosquito. this has been easy in the past, as I simply recite the list of Reasons Not To Move There:
1) the cost of living is HIGH and we can’t buy a house
2) the job market is not good right now
3) it is expensive to move
4) there aren’t any places for Charlie horse

And, of course, my answers:
1) We can’t buy a house anyway; our credit sucks right now. The housing market has come way down there, and maybe by the time we are ready to buy, it will be more reasonable. And I don’t feel a strong desire to buy anything right now. Last time we lived there, I was in a different place, and felt that I NEEDED to own a house to feel like a worth member of society. I feel completely different about that now.
And believe it or not, but we could live in a decent house, granted more towards the hills than the ocean, for only a couple of hundred dollars more than we’re paying now.
2) I just looked out on, and there are many, many jobs for which I’m qualified, with strong companies. Whether I’d actually GET one of these jobs? Who knows. But I wouldn’t move until I did.
3) This one is difficult. We are finally building up some savings again. Mike was going to quit his job at the end of this month, maybe we can plan a bit further into the future and he’ll keep working, and we’ll keep adding to the savings account, at least for a couple of months.
4) I did some web research, and there are many, many boarding stables. Actually a lot better options than in CO, as grass actually grows in CA.

I can’t explain why I suddenly have such a strong urge. But I haven’t had one in a long, long time. It feels very much like a ‘moment of clarity’. Suddenly, I felt as if I woke from a fog, thinking, ‘Why are we here? We could be THERE!’

When we lived there before, we didn’t have children, were very into mountain biking and dirt bike riding, things that we did with a group of friends. When we moved to SD, we missed those friends and those activities. That was a long time ago, and now those friends have kids, have gotten divorced, etc. Our lives are so different now, and our priorities are quite different. I don’t care so much if I can’t afford a new car or to buy a huge house.

I’m going to give it the weekend test. If I still feel this way by Monday, I’m going to get more serious about researching it.

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