Thursday, August 31, 2006


Well, I can't believe I made it to 12 weeks. That's right, my first milestone. I'm hoping to be able to relax a bit now. I really wanted to tell people at work, but my boss wants me to wait?! I'm not sure why. Of course, in a couple of weeks it will be fairly obvious. I'm showing just a little, little bit right now, and I can wear baggy shirts to cover it. But it is starting to get cooler, and when I put on a sweater, it is beginning to be obvious.

3 and a half more weeks until the amnio. I nervous about both the results and the miscarriage chances, but the way I look at it, if I miscarry at that point, I'm just NOT meant to have a baby. It will kill me, but I know that there is absolutely nothing I can do about it. As for the results, I'm pretty scared. Part of me says I would terminate if something is found, part of me says I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I terminated. So, I'm waffling right now. I pray that I don't have to make that decision.

My husband's cousin, let's call him God's Gift To Women (ggtw), is quite the piece of work. He honestly believes that every woman that says hello, responds to something he asks, or seats him at a restaurant wants to sleep with him. He is 40 years old, overweight, and not very attractive. In addition, his personality sucks. He thinks he knows everything, and will not accept anyone else's input on a subject.
My husband and ggtw went to a hot spring that was clothing optional. The object of clothing optional is NOT to check out other people, it is about being comfortable in your skin, and not caring what other people think about you. I guess it is sort of a spiritual, natural, hippie kind of thing. I totally get it, although I'm not ALWAYS comfortable taking my clothes off, but it doesn't really bother me to be around it.

GGTW, of course, tries to talk to every woman there. Did I mention he is married with two children? One woman was from the South originally, like my husband and ggtw, so they talked for a bit about it. My husband said she was NOT interested, she was just talking. Her children were there with her. So, the next day, they are leaving, and she kind of touches ggtw's shoulder and says, "it was nice meeting you guys, have a fun trip". GGTW turns to my husband and says "she initiated contact. I felt a connection there. Let's hang out here and see if something happens." To which my husband replied, "We are leaving." GGTW honestly thought because the woman was being courteous, she wanted to sleep with him. It makes me sick. So, every time I say excuse me, or ask the pharmacist "how are you today?" does that make him think I want to sleep with him? Please.

Of course, it gets my ire up, because I feel threatened by him. If he is willing to sleep with any woman that will have him, will he have any influence on my husband? I know that he wouldn't, because I trust my husband, and my husband is NOT AN IDIOT. But, still, the thought creeps up in the back of my mind. Luckily, he is gone. My husband had TONS of similar stories to tell. He couldn't believe it.

His old high school buddy comes to visit in a week and a half, he is a much better guy. Definitely from the country, and kind of backwards, but I'd rather deal with that.

At any rate, happy 3 months!! What a rocky start, I pray it will be smoother from here on out.

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