Friday, November 07, 2008

Tofurkey and my Imaginary Friend

I can’t believe I’m admitting this, but this morning when the guy in the cube next to me started into my cube to tell yet another story about either
a) his massive task of redoing the storm drains in his yard
b) something stupid that his wife said or did or made him do
c) something way more than I want to know about his bathroom habits,

I picked up my cellphone and acted as if someone had called me. I had a five minute conversation with an imaginary friend about how to prepare a tofu turkey (or tofurkey, as I referred to it). I don’t even know how to prepare one, but it was the first thing that popped into my mind. And I gave her advice about how to not offend her vegan guests by serving meat as well for her non vegan guests (“if they don’t want to be around it, then they shouldn’t come…”). I can’t believe I actually just did this, and had an entire imaginary conversation! I also gave her my pecan pie recipe. Oh my God, I so belong in the nuthouse.

And it totally worked, the guy next door was thwarted, forced to go regale another coworker with his tales.

I am laughing so hard right now. Especially at the random topic. At least it is a great exercise in creativity. And I will do it again! This has such a great array of possibilities. Car salesmen, the guy on the street that just "wants to take a minute to testify about Jesus", the woman in the elevator that has on the pink denim jacket that has been Beadazzled within an inch of its life....Bwahahahahahahahahahaha!

I wanted to disclose this in case you want to keep your children away from me in the future.

No comments: