Thursday, November 06, 2008


Total rant and venting ahead, proceed with caution:

The place where I work, oh man, it is so funny and weird. The clerical whose cube (it is more open with a sort of “breakfast bar” type thing on the front) is right across the aisle from me came in yesterday and asked me if she could put her head down and go to sleep. In my cube. While I’m working. I feel for her, she’s pregnant, so I know she’s tired. But sharing a 6x8 cube with someone else sleeping behind me? Weird. And, if her bosses(my bosses, too) came into my cube and saw her sleeping on the clock (she’s paid hourly), I can’t imagine what would unfold. But, being the weenie that I am, I said it was okay. So she slept in my cube for an hour. Do you know what it is like to have someone snoring two feet behind you while you try to figure out how to choose the proper encryption algorithm?

And every time I get anything to eat, she comes in and asks if she can have some. I got some M&Ms yesterday, and I had to try and not make a rattly sound with the wrapper, because I was hungry and wanted to be able to eat them all. She’s a sweet girl I guess, but a little strange. It was hilarious; I would sneak out like five of them, and then hide the bag in my drawer. I used to eat cereal at my desk in the morning, but every time she heard me pour the cereal, she’d come over and ask for some. And it isn’t an issue of not having the money to eat; she just bought a new car. I’m all for sharing some, but come on! Oh well, maybe it’ll be good for me, if I don’t eat at my cube, maybe I’ll lose some weight! She could start her own company called “I’ll Eat Half Your Food”. Lose Weight! Feel Great! I’ll Eat Half Your Food! And then sleep with you within an uncomfortable radius.

Asshat (in the cube next to me) is having digestive issues again. God help me. I actually practically yelled “Putting on my headphones!” while he was giving details on his phone call approximately a foot away from my ear. There are certain things you don’t do in a cube farm, people. Digestive issues go on the “no-no” list. Step out into the hall, and use your cellphone. That, and you never, ever comment on a personal conversation someone is having, even if it was so loud that anyone could hear. I know about every fight that asshat has had with his wife, but I never act like I have any clue about it. It is an unwritten code.

I’m definitely starting to get more negative about this company, and I’m trying to do better. They are building a new campus with all of this state of the art equipment --the workstations are new, to allow light from all the windows, the monitors are on swing arms, everyone has their own vents so that they can control the temperature, they are going to have Starbucks coffee, water machines!, actual breakrooms with a sink! (and soon we'll get one of those newfangled light bulbs I've heard so much about), etc. Up until a couple of weeks ago, as far as we knew, we were going to be moving there in April. Then they told us that although everyone else in the company was going to the new campus, they hadn’t planned correctly, and there wasn’t room for us, so we are staying in our building, which was (I’m not kidding) last renovated in 1984. No light, urine colored walls, cubes, carpet (that has stains ALL OVER IT), the bathrooms are hardly ever in service, and oh, they are taking away the restaurant downstairs. Yeah, so I’m kind of bummed. Stupid little extras like that really go a long way. And no plans to renovate our building. Just be grateful you have jobs, was what we were told. Which is true, I know, but yeesh.
AND, every other team in our department has scheduled their Christmas party. Except us. I don't think we are getting one this year. Which is fine, as long as they let us have the half day off. Which they probably won't-- they probably didn't "plan properly" for it. At least I just mistyped "for it" as "for tit" and got a good, juvenile laugh out of it!

1 comment:

Giyen said...

OMG that is hilarious and random and bizarre all at the same time. Oh, I miss working in an office sometimes ...